Why hello your beautiful bunch of bowling legends. Sir Benjamin Owls here and I am back to
give you the ultimate sporting tutorial - how to bowl the PERFECT bowl. Now, I hear what you’re
saying. You’ve been on the green. You’ve already rolled the sphere of gods around in your
fingertips, sampling its weighted excellence. You’ve flexed your wrist and thrown the bowl down
the green, towards that all-illusive Jack - what else could there be to learn? After all, aren't lawn
bowls the game of silver foxes and vixens across the UK?
WRONG! If good ole’ gramps were here, he’d be waggling his gold-ringer finger and recounting
many-a-tale of lawn bowls training sessions from his youth. Bowls may no longer have the same
towering heights as football or golf BUT it remains a very skilled game - and I should know! So,
without further ado, let’s get into it.
See below an example of what you are hoping for by the Legendary Nick Brett back in 2020
Step 1... Touch.
You need to have a delicate touch. caress your bowl like it is the hand of an elderly, brittle relative or an overly flaky pastry from the discount section of Tesco.
Step 2... Curve.
To attempt to master the curve is a fools errand. Like trying to secure voting rights for a mongoose. But what you can do is trust in the unpredictability of the curve. Surrender yourself to it, bask in its danger. then…. and only then will you gain its respect (or just lob it and hope for the best)
Step 3... Release.
A deep lunge is required on release of the bowl. You need to get close…so close to the ground in fact that you may have to explain the grass stains to your spouse or inquisitive Labrador. But make sure you stretch beforehand so you don’t do yourself a mischief.
Step 4... Balance.
You have to be perfectly balanced. I find holding a pint of Peroni whilst bowling helps with this.
Step 5... Precision.
You can’t have a devil may care approach to bowls. save that attitude for your tax returns. In this game you need to be precise. so study the green, grip your bowl and concentrate harder than your drunk Nan negotiating a sudoku puzzle.
Thank you for reading and see you on the grass.
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